Redbeard
20-04-2007, 09:37 AM
Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they
aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town
prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grand-motherly, elderly
woman to the stand.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She
responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since
you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to
me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk
about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you
haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than
a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She
again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He
can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one
of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife
with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to
approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you
idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."
aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town
prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grand-motherly, elderly
woman to the stand.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She
responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since
you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to
me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk
about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you
haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than
a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She
again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He
can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one
of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife
with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to
approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you
idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."